If I ever lost my mother, I’d honestly lose a part of myself. My faith would really have to prevail to get me through that one. I say this with all the honesty in the world. I’ve lost her a few times, due to depression and just her withdrawal from life. No one sees, at least like I do. Yeah we live a life of struggles and everyone has their own, but when you lose that hope and ache for joy in life it just something else. Looking into her eyes, cold and lost. My rock, my soul my everything is scared, lonely and tired. Having Jarred with me, I’ve realized what a blessing and how wonderful it is to have someone there for you to love you and to make you better. Yeah I tell her that I love her, and I try every way to be that so called ‘man’ for her but of course it just isn’t the same. I want to see that smile on my mother’s face I want to see her look back and know she is loved and cared for and that everything is alright. My heart breaks every time she comes to me like this, every time she shuts down. I know her like the back of my hand and all I want is some peace for her, not the lottery, not a trip far away just a peace of mind, hope and joy again. I just pray to God every night and nights like this I just take it as a reminder to pray harder to love harder to appreciate all her sacrifices and to give her all the support I can.
Glory | Jay-Z ft. Blue Ivy Carter produced by the Neptunes.
You’re a child of destiny
You’re a child of MY destiny
You’re my child with the child from Destiny’s Child
…that’s a hell of a recipe
(Source: Billboard)
Left me speechless and ever so grateful to God for answering all of my prayers. Good Goddddddd !!! His power and my faith in Him. It’s a force to be reckoned with. Thank you Lord
Today has once again shown me that you have to prepare for whatever life throws at you. My aunt has been sick for some weeks now. I’m talking drastic weight loss and very very pale skin. She recently had surgery for her gallbladder so we all thought something had happened with the surgery. Well all of that changes when my mom picks me up from school today at 3pm and tells me that my aunt has been diagnosed with cancer. The doctors don’t know what kind of cancer, what stage, but they will do an xray and other procedures on Monday. My mom and I make our way to get something to eat and at approximately 3:30pm my mom gets a phone call from my dad saying that the cancer is located in her intestines and my aunt is being rushed into the emergency room to have surgery done. My mom and I rush back to the car and drive an hour and a half worth back home. We get to the hospital and my family’s ballin ! My cousin and aunts are crying, the whole waiting room is a reck. Hours pass as we wait for this surgery to be over. The doctor comes in and talks with my uncle. Literally all damn near 20 of us rush over to hear how the surgery went. He tells us that the cancer hasn’t completely spread and they have been able to cut the tumor out. There is still some procedures that have to be done but this procedure has gone well. Automatically after, my family screams with relief, and joy THANK YOU LORD , THANK YAA. Tears flood the waiting room and hugs are shared. It was right then and there that the power of love, became so much stronger than the hate and anger and drama that was previously going on between my family… My heart sank, my spirits were lifted and I was proud to be apart of this gathering between the people I care about so much. My dad though, it isn’t often that I see this man cry. He hugged me so tightly and balled his eyes out screaming YES THANK YOU LORD. I just hugged him and told him that today was not the day. He’s lost his mother, and two brothers to cancer, but they were watching over and they know that the time is not now. Nonetheless, we spent the rest of the hours waiting for my aunt to get into the recovery room so we can bring our black and hispanic asses to the small room to show her all the love and support. This terrible situation really brought all my family together and just showed how love really conquers all. I think what was even more heartbreaking was the fact that my aunt had written a letter to us (in the event that the procedure failed) saying that she loved us and that she wanted us all to stop fighting and etc etc. Talk about ballin’ ! I was in tears !!! And just the love my uncle has for my aunt is amazing. While we all were in the recovery room he was beside her telling her all these words of encouragement and how beautiful she was and how God reminded him that He only loans his wife to him. His love and affection and genuinity was so real and I just hope that I can have a love like that, because that woman (my aunt) is his lifeline. We all realize how special my aunt is to all of us and we just love her so much and know she’s going to get through this.
God is Good and this journey has only begun but with the power of love and prayer and family we will prevail.
